On Saturday I was given an idea to ponder. What is support? And is my idea of support the same as somebody else's? There are a lot of different types of support...and support changes in certain life situations. So what is my support?
1. Moral or psychological support.
It has changed a lot throughout my life. Some has been constant but a lot has changed and still is changing. My support is not only people, but music, laughter, nature, a smile, a photograph, memories...
I remember when we lost Brett...the next day my house was filled with flowers from people that I wasn't even that close to. So many people took the time to show me they care and so many of them came to support me at the funeral. Most of them didn't even know Brett. It's all about the little things...a card, a hug, flowers, a presence. Those small things can make all the difference in the world. I will never forget all of those little things and all the people that took the time to care. Sometimes it's the support and love of others that has given me the ability to continue caring for myself.
Friends have come and gone in my life, but the best of friends have become like sisters to me. Kristi has been a constant in my life since 7th grade. She is my family and I am so thankful I have her in my life. She is my support...part of my backbone...part of what has made me who I am. I love her!
"When you cry be sure to dry your eyes, 'cause better days are sure to come. And when you smile be sure to smile wide. Don't let them know that they have won. And when you walk, walk with pride. Don't show the hurt inside. Because the pain will soon be gone. And when you dream, dream big...as big as the ocean blue. 'Cause when you dream it might come true. So when you dream, dream big. When you laugh be sure to laugh out loud. 'Cause it will carry all your cares away. And when you see, see the beauty all around and in yourself. And it'll help you feel okay. And when you pray, pray for strength..to help you carry on, when the troubles come your way." - Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband "Dream Big"
Music has a way of healing my heart and soothing my soul. Music makes me think and reflect on my life. Songs like the one above have given me the strength to keep on going. The willpower to wake up each morning with a smile on my face and the belief that today can be a better day...dream big and don't let anything or anyone bring you down. I am the one in control of my life...
2. The activity of providing for or maintaining by supplying necessities or money.
My parents have always been my rock, my support, my source of love and belonging. They are the reason I am where I am today and have become the person that I am. I was taken care of when I was younger...I ate well, I played well, and I was loved. I was raised having everything I need, and a lot of the things I wanted too. But I was rewarded with a sense of responsibility and respect because I earned what I received. My parents have been my motivation for so many things because I never want to let them down. I want them to be able to look at me and say, "My daughter has become the person I always dreamed she would become." I never could have done any of this without them.
3. Hold, or physical support.
Man has this changed a lot throughout my life. I will always remember my grandpa's hugs, the night when I was 15 and had to sleep in my parents bed the night of the accident....bear hugs from Uncle Dave...running to my dad when I was little and wrapping my arms around his legs. Lying my head down on my grandma's lap while she spent hours brushing through my hair. Cuddling with my dog when I was younger. The hugs from Jeremy when I didn't want to keep waking up in the mornings without my best friend. My amazing fiance and the way every touch from him gives me butterflies. He holds me and it's like all my problems, fears, stress, tears are forgotten. I feel him even though we are thousands of miles away from one another and he is the reason behind all the happiness that I feel right now. Monk monk helps me to feel close to him...he supports me every night when I fall asleep holding him.
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Support has been short term and long term. Sometimes a new outfit has supported me on a day that I wasn't feeling confident. A report card or an A on a test has given me support and confirmation that my hard work is paying off. A compliment...a photograph...a journal...a blog...a phone call...Support can be anything. The other night a friend's daughter came and put her arms around me and said, "You are the most prettiest one here. And your dress is beautiful." She made my night and her beautiful smile and the sincerity in what she said made me feel so lucky to be me.
Ya know...some days are better than others. Some days I feel on top of the world and as though NOTHING could possibly bring me down. Other days I have wondered how I was going to find the strength to get back up. I always try to remember that I am strong, and I have people that believe in me. And because they believe in me, I must believe in myself. I try my hardest not to let anything bring me down, surround myself with positivity. It's not always possible but I try. That's the most important thing...try.
It's so easy to give up...sometimes that is what is expected by so many people. But the harder route will leave us with a feeling of accomplishment and pride. Give us a new strength that we never knew we had. So challenge yourself and don't always take the easy road. Use those hopeless feelings to make a positive change and turn things around. Let the fear and worry be your motivation to keep on trying. Don't let other's doubts become your own. Prove the world wrong. It feels wonderful :0)
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