I really felt like writing tonight so I sat down...opened up the screen...and just stared. I don't even know what to say. I have so many thing running through my mind right now that unless I have something to guide me, I'm blank. School is crazy, I love it and hate it all at the same time. And as much as I am ready to graduate, I'm also not. My to do list for this week is huge, I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed, and all I really want is ONE day off, not two or three...just one will be fine. I want to wake up to no alarm clock, spend the morning at Ko'olina and just relax the day away...WITHOUT homework and epi paper and studying and EKG's and complex care and clinical worksheets and CT2 and home visits and everything else. Sounds nice...maybe next month!

 I realized today that for the first time in 7 years, Brett has not come into my mind every single day. That scares me. I am so afraid of forgetting. And I know I never will but I want to think of him every day and feel him with me. I gave my necklace with Brett's picture on it to Logan before he left for deployment. He wears him around his neck every single day and I know Brett is keeping him safe. Maybe that's why I haven't felt him as much lately, because he is taking care of my other half....making sure he comes home safe to me.

I hope that someday I will understand life a little better...sometimes I just don't get it. Maybe we aren't supposed to get it. I don't know.

One more day One more time  One more sunset, maybe Id be satisfied But then again I know what it would do...Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you