Everything I've always dreamed of...

My heart beats faster when I think of him. I want to be held in his arms when I am upset, I want to share all my happy times with him and tell him about my day. And I want him to genuinely care. I need to be appreciated and appreciate him just the same. Spoil him to be spoiled back. Neither will give more than take. It is equal. We are equal. No such thing as I love you more and I love you most. I love you equal. Appreciate the small things...an e-mail to say hello, waiting in line for an hour to use the phone, working 12 hours on no sleep and walking the distance to the computer center to get on skype, taking time out of sleep to write in our journal, surprising me with flowers. Missing him like crazy and what song comes on? You're Never Gonna Be Alone. We are with each other every second of every day...body, mind, and spirit. He is who I think about when I am happy, he is who I think about when I am sad. I want to tell him everything. I think of him when I am lying in bed at night...when I am driving and our favorite songs come on. He is who I want to sing with. I yearn for his voice. He gives me butterflies and a 10 minute phone conversation can brighten the darkest of days. He always knows what to say, always knows what it is I need to hear. Sometimes I am scared to forget...forget what it feels like to be in his arms, to hold his hand, to touch his cheek. I remember the good times, I remember the bad and we have overcome everything and come out on top and gained more respect for one another. There is no I...it is we. WE got this...the good stuff...the real thing.

What can burn for many a year? A true love can burn for many a year.

I wear a promise ring...a ring I bought for myself...

A promise to NEVER settle for less. Less that what I need, what I want, and what I deserve. I am not settling and I will never have to because I have found the man of my dreams. The man I love with all of my heart. WE will never settle. He is my forever. I am his forever.

I miss him. I miss his hands and his dimples...his cheeseball smile. I miss his toes and the way his feet feel when they're intertwined with mine. I miss his ears and his lips...and the look on his face when he thinks he did something wrong. I miss dancing with him when there's no music. I miss the way he twirls me when we are walking down the street. I miss his positive attitude and the way he talks to anyone and everyone. I miss his eyes...I miss the way he snores when he's really tired. I miss the noises he makes when he's really relaxed. I miss lying my head on his chest when I fall asleep. I miss him singing to me...and I miss his cooking. I miss everything about him. I miss my otha alf.

 

There are so many little signs that are showing me my life is going in the direction it is supposed to.

I get told all the time that things will change.  "Don't count on things staying this way forever," they say. What do they know? What does anybody know? I'm not counting on things staying the same. I know that is impossible but I have been through a lot of things that people have no idea about. It's funny when I get underestimated...when what I say gets brushed off, after all..what would I know?